Girl Bossing, like a Boss
A Girl Boss is a leading lady who has a list of goals. A girl boss is determined and capable of achieving everything that she has set her mind to. The girl boss may also be one that's lost her way or needs be encouraged, she may be an entrepreneur or a corporate leader, she might be an employee or even technically unemployed it's truly about what's within.
I am Shaunte Andrea Stewart (Sass) Girl Boss and Leadership Coach for Women. I have a bachelors and masters in management and leadership. After years of studying leadership in textbooks and years of leading a staff in the corporate world, I felt compelled to help women with the aspects of leadership not found in the books. Aspects such as burn out, difficult employee and manager relationships, lack of confidence and fear of failure. So further up in this paragraph I claimed to be a Girl Boss and I am. I am one with lots of goals, credentials and drive. This must mean life is perfect, because I must have it all figured out right??Wrong let's look at my goal list.
I want to live for God. I want to be a reflection of him in everything I do!
I want to run a successful business.
I want to successfully manage my staff at my 9-5 along with making sure our accounts receivable audits are industry leading.
I want to be a perfect wife.
I want to be the best mother in the world.
Oh yeah… and I want to get a full night of sleep... I also want to work out 4-5 times a week, go on vacations, and spend time with my friends and family.
It should be easy right...because I know what I want... I just have to make it happen.
Well yes and no. Let me explain. The fact that I know what I want and that I have it written down gets me one step closer to achieving it, but let's be real my list is long and even though I am a Girl Boss I am also ..."gasp" human! It's hard to admit that I can't do everything at one time without burning myself out or letting a few things fall through the cracks. At this moment, I am being totally real and telling you that I can’t. I can't hold on to my beliefs and be everything to everybody while keeping myself sane all at once. I can’t try to do all of that without burning out and boy have I burned out before.
Once upon a time not long ago I took a job as a health and fitness coach part time. The part time job as a health and fitness coach was not in place of a full time job. I worked full time, started a part time with a toddler and newborn at home. Well that newborn did not sleep well in the beginning. “Not too smart” you must be thinking. You are utterly and completely correct. I quickly became worn out. I was worn thin and it showed at work, at home and my supposed part time was nearly nonexistent because I had no energy, no desire and totally lost my passion as a leader. It took a few months for me to recover and find my way back to my passion. My passion for my full time job returned, as I put my energy back into being the heart centered leader I was previous to my burn out. As for the part time… it never really was my passion if you want me to be honest with you. I have always enjoyed helping people but it was an area where I was not totally in my element. I didn’t go back to health and fitness coaching, but what I did find in the process was my other working passion. I got myself through my burnout and reclaimed my work life, but I also got back to who I wanted to be at home. I was back to being me, instead of the crazy person trying to work on everything a little at a time, but was really working on nothing. I became the Mom and Wife I knew I could be. Finding myself and reclaiming my passion taught me that was one of the things I wanted to teach others. I’m a firm believer in do what you love and love what you do but sometimes you lose yourself in all the logistics within a complicated thing called life.
"So how can I be a crazy ambitious Girl Boss without losing my way you ask??" I'll tell you.
I have failed before. I now imagine you’re thinking "What I thought you are supposed to be teaching women to succeed not how to fail." I am but failure is a part of the journey and when there's too much on your plate without proper strategy and it can be pretty likely. I failed at health coaching. It wasn’t my passion, I had too much on my plate and it showed.
I have learned to organize my time. I now keep an electronic organizer and a paper planner. I start off with my paper agenda that is organized by categories, order them by priority and have a game plan on paper before I go to the electronic version. I eliminate things with high priority first and then move to the others.
I relax. It's hard because I'm ambitious, I have a 9-5 job, Husband, two Toddlers and I am building my own Business. When I don't schedule some self-care time I'm more prone to overwhelming and burning myself out. A burned out version of me cannot accomplish even a tenth of my list, because a burned out me is exhausted and unproductive.
I remember my "Why". My "Why" is the reason I do what I do. My "why" reasons are my love for God, loved ones and passions rolled all up in a pretty package. This is the pretty package that keeps me going.
I am consistent. I have to consistently work at being consistent but it keeps me consistent. "Say what?" Being consistent takes work, sometimes it's much easier to procrastinate but procrastination does nothing for achieving goals. There is a time for relaxation and a time for consistent work but don't mix the two. If you’re working when you are supposed to be relaxing you will burn out. If you relax when you’re supposed to be working, you will get nowhere.
Just because you’re a Girl Boss it does not mean that your superwoman. You will get tired, you will have trials tribulations and if you don't organize and strategize you probably will burn out.
Organization and strategy are often considered constraints, when in all actually the two can give you much freedom. It is up to you to take care of yourself so that does not happen, but one of my roles is to bring you back just in case it does.